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Relationship Advice About Esteem Needs

Relationship Advice to Fulfill Esteem Needs of Lover Interest

Compliment your love interest often.
One of the main benefits of having a lover is to have someone to support you when you feel worthless or bad about yourself. One of the primary jobs of a lover is to support your self-esteem by reminding you what a incredible and wonderful person when others have beaten you down or when your dreams come crashing down on you. It does not matter if the world thinks you are boring and worthless because your lover thinks you are the most exciting and special person on this earth.

This strategy only works when your love interest has good self-esteem. If your love interest has low self-esteem, complimenting them may not fulfill their esteem needs. Verbally abusing them may fulfill their self-esteem, because your abuse validates their image of themselves. This is why some people are attracted to people who treat them like shit.
Support love interest's dreams and encourage he/she to take risk. Be there when he/she fails.
This advice relates to the one above. If you are not supportive of your lover's dreams and not willing to take on risk, your lover may leave you when they finally become successful. Be supportive of your ambitious lover, keep detailed record of your contribution in your relationship, and familiarize yourself with divorce or common law marriage laws. This way, you will be compensated for your support in case your lover becomes successful and leaves you. However, most likely, your lover will be grateful for your support through their darkest hour, strengthening their love for you.

Relationship Advice to Fulfill Esteem Needs Alone

Focus on having a fulfilling career.
If you have a kick-ass career that challenges you and maximize all your talents and skills, you most likely would feel really good about yourself. Because you love your career more than your competitors, you most likely are paid very well for your work. A career can be a good substitute for a real lover.
Choose a small goal and reach it.
Big goals are made of little goals. By reaching a series of small goals, a bigger goal could be reach. Also, as each small goal is reached, your confidence in your ability to reach bigger goals increases.
Help others.
If you can help others achieve their goals, you would reinforce your confidence and increase your self-worth. Your existence has meaning and you are playing an important role in this life. Society values people who are compassionate and generous increasing your social prestige. By demonstrating to others that you can fulfill their needs, others will see you as more attractive because they know you have already learned to fulfill your own.

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