Home Introduction 1.  The Manifesto's Purpose      The Need      The Method      How to Use the Manifesto      The Outcome 2.  Love Economics      Behavioral Models      The Core Variables      A Relationship      Model Assumptions      Emotional Availability      Past Love Experiences      Commitment      How to Use the Model 3.  The Benefits of Love      Emotional Needs      Entertainment Needs      Materialistic Needs 4.  The Costs of Love      Search Cost      Your Attractiveness      Your Social Networking Skills      Search Time Cost      Search Financial Cost      Rejection Cost      Research Cost      Maintenance Cost      Opportunity Cost      Breakup Risk      Risk of Being Dumped      Breakup Cost 5.  Attraction      Attractiveness      Qualities to Fulfill Needs of Others      Confidence      Lowering Love Costs of Others      Situational Forces      Other Attractive Traits 6.  Weaknesses of the Model 7.  Soulmates & True Love      Soulmate Theory      Number of Soulmate Believers      The Evidence of Soulmates      Chances of Marrying Your Soulmate 8.  Methods of Finding Soulmates      On Your Own      Virtual Communities      Personal Ads      Traditional Dating Services      Online Dating Services 9.  How to Solve Dating      The Solution      How You Can Help Solve Dating 10.  Appendix      Other Attractive Traits      Love Economics Translations References About the Author The Soulmate Manifesto: Uniting all Soulmate Believers In an Effort to Solve Dating Copyright 2003. Aluran, Inc.

The Soulmate Manifesto: Uniting All Soulmate Believers in an Effort to Solve Dating Qualities to Fulfill the Needs of Others 1. Physical Attractiveness Good-looking people are approached more often than homely people. Thus, their social networks are naturally larger and they are more popular. They seem to have better communication skills and they make more money. Also, being around good-looking people makes you more attractive. Your esteem needs might be met because you may feel better about yourself for being able to attract a beautiful lover. Good-looking people are more sexually arousing and have better sex lives. Variables that influences physical attractiveness are facial features, body type, weight, and height. These parameters should be close to the mean of population. Social influences, such as the media, dictate what is beautiful and what is not. Aging affects physical attractiveness. As people age, skin wrinkles or becomes pigmented, things tend to sag, and balding occurs. Also, metabolism slows down leading to unwanted weight gain. Society tells us that these aging signs are not attractive. Any physical disabilities or deformities are also considered not attractive by society. Biases towards physical attractive traits stem from evolution because they were attractive for breeding and survival. Any deviations of physical appearance were possible signs of illness or disease. Young looking, large breasted women with low waist-to-hip ratio represented health as well as the ability to bear and nurse babies. Tall and athletic males were more attractive because they were better able to protect and provide for females and their offspring. Needs Satisfied esteem needs social needs safety needs sexual needs materialistic desires (through increase in wealth) Insights and Predictions Less physically attractive people work harder to meet people than physically attractive people. Younger actresses have more and better movie roles. Facial features' measurement of attractive people are the average of the population. Average weight, height, and breast size will also be considered most attractive. People who date for sex will value physical attractiveness the most. Both female and males value physical attraction equally. Explains why heroes are always good looking and villains are always ugly. Men prefer women who are shorter than them. Women prefer men taller than them. Explains why men prefer younger women and women prefer older men. Tactics to Increase Your Physical Attractiveness Pursue people who are not physically attractive. Resort to plastic surgery. Get yourself a nose job or new breasts (for women only). Improve your smile. Get braces, teeth whiten, or dental work. Exercise to lose weight or to get an athletic body. Go to a dermatologist to improve your acne condition. Wear makeup (for women only). If balding, try Rogaine or consider a hair transplant. Be fashionable and wear nice clothes. For men who are short and not athletic, hire a bodyguard or learn martial arts. Tactics to Decrease Physical Attractiveness of Love Interest Cook high fat meals and discourage exercising. Induce stress to cause acne. Tell female love interest that she looks better without cosmetics. Buy love interest clothes that are out of fashion. 2. Similarities People usually like people who are like themselves. The more things you have in common with people, the more likely you will love them and they will love you back. A lover who shares common dreams and ambitions will provide for your esteem needs easier. When someone shares similar hobbies and interests with you, there is little conflict about what to do for entertainment. If you and your lover share similar attitudes about sex and have similar sex drives, you are more sexually compatible. Also, if both of you are materialistic to the same degree, there will be less arguments about financial issues. Having similarities makes it easier to understand one another and conflicts are less. Ideally, these factors should be similar: ethnicity/culture, language, intelligence, emotional intelligence, schooling, income, social economic status, moral/values, hobbies/interests, religion, ambition, life goals, sex attitude/drives, and family goals. Needs Satisfied esteem needs social needs spiritual needs entertainment needs sexual needs materialistic desires Insights and Predictions Similar people usually congregate together. Examples are clubs or organizations. Cross-ethnic marriages have higher divorce rates than same-ethnic marriages. Intelligent people will find intelligence more attractive than those who are not. People who do not like themselves will be attracted to those opposite to them. Similarity in attitudes about social roles explains why some opposites appear to attract each other. Tactics to Increase Similarities Increase your love odds by joining clubs or activities that you enjoy. Surround yourself with people who are similar to you. Do not pursue people who are different from you. Become interested in love interest's hobbies and interests. Convert to love interest's religion. 3. Social Skills Social skills are social rules to allow people to interact. These skills include social etiquette, good hygiene, communication skills, and social networking skills. People who do not have good social etiquette or hygiene may embarrass the people they are with, thus lowering social benefits or making social benefits negative. Social etiquette and good hygiene are also important for people to like you and affect your ability to keep friendships. Communication skills facilitate understanding and maintaining friends. They also help to avoid and resolve conflicts. Also, couples with good communication skills have better sex lives. Good etiquette, good hygiene, and communication skills affect social networking abilities. For most people, social networking skills are attractive because these skills can be used to gain popularity and to increase social status. People with friends also have access to emotional or financial support in stressful times. Therefore, having social skills can be used to fulfill safety needs as well. Needs Satisfied esteem needs (through communications skills) social needs safety needs sexual needs (through communications skills) Insights and Predictions People who have good etiquette and hygiene are more popular than those who do not. People who have good relationships are usually good communicators. Popular people are more attractive, especially in high school or college. Tactics to Increase Social Skills Memorize Emily Post's Good Etiquette book. Bath or shower daily. Use deodorant if you have bad body odor. Brush your teeth and carry mints. Ask your friends to alert you if you have bad breath. Do not pick your nose or pimples in public. If you have dandruff, use dandruff shampoo. Always watch your shoulders if wearing dark shirts or jackets. Do not scratch your head in public. Do not talk too much. Listening is a large part of having good communication skills. Learn to schmooze. Get e-mail, instant messaging, a PDA, and a cell phone to keep in touch with friends. 4. Emotional Intelligence Emotional intelligence, according to Daniel Goleman, is defined as five qualities. Knowing one's emotions - ability to identify one's emotion in real time. Managing emotions - ability to neutralize negative emotions like anxiety, stress, and depression. Motivating oneself - delay gratification or emotion impulses. Recognizing emotions in others - empathy, the ability to recognize other's emotions. Handling relationships - ability to manage the emotions of other's. These qualities are important to support other's esteem needs and to avoid or resolve conflicts. Empathy is necessary to develop intimate relationships and is crucial to fulfill esteem needs. Socially, emotional intelligent people will have more friends and are well liked. They are more popular and have larger social networks. Contrary to common sense, emotional intelligence is a more powerful indicator of income than intelligence. Besides fulfilling social needs, materialistic needs could be met by the indirect increase in income. The ability to control other people's emotions is usually useful in relieving stressful situations and avoiding conflicts. So emotional intelligence is a quality that can be used to fulfill safety needs as well. Needs Satisfied esteem needs social needs safety needs primary needs (through increase in wealth) materialistic desires (through increase in wealth) Insights and Predictions Leaders and popular people usually have high emotional intelligence. Tactics to Increase Emotional Intelligence Read books on emotional intelligence. Take anger management or conflict resolution classes. Take sensitivity training classes. 5. Entertainment Certain personality traits have entertainment value. Most people prefer to be around people who are funny and interesting. People who value intellectual stimulation prefer people with intelligence or education. People who like novelty or mystery would be attracted to people who are different or mysterious. People who love music, art, or literature will be attracted to musicians, artists, or writers, respectively. Also, having common hobbies and interests is very attractive because it makes entertainment decisions easy. Lastly, wealth can buy entertainment. For example, if you like traveling, fine dining, or buying expensive things, wealth indirectly has entertainment value. Insights and Predictions Entertainers and athletes are highly valued society members and are paid well. Intelligence is only attractive to those who need intellectual stimulation. Most forms of entertainment require money. Explains why some people are attracted to troubled people. Some people enjoy rescuing or fixing up screwed-up people. (Florence Nightingale or White Knight syndrome) Explains why good girls like bad boys. Bad boys are more exciting than good boys. Explains why pop and rock stars are loved by millions. Tactics to Increase Entertainment Value Be funny at all cost. Keep up on current events or information that maybe of interest to love interest. Learn how to play a guitar or piano. Pursue people who have no talents, hobbies, who do not read, or have boring jobs. Pursue people who always complain they are bored or have "time to kill". Become rich and buy entertainment. 6. Wealth Those who say money can not buy love are wrong. However, it is only one of many attractive traits and it will not guarantee everlasting love alone. Money can be used to increase social status, buy financial and physical security, provide primary needs, and fulfill materialistic desires. Rich people are less attracted to other rich people because their needs are already fulfilled. It is more likely that rich people are attracted to other rich people because of similarities in lifestyle, background, social status, or education. Wealthy people are usually more powerful, have more friends, dress better, able to afford orthodontists, dermatologists, or plastic surgeons, and usually are more educated. Needs Satisfied social needs safety needs entertainment needs primary needs materialistic desires Insights and Predictions Money buys love by increasing your attractiveness to people who are poor or people who have unmet materialistic desires. Wealth is an indicator for other attractive traits such as intelligence, emotional intelligence, ambition, energy levels, diligence, responsibility, and perseverance. Popularity and physical attractiveness are more important to young women. Wealth and social status are more important to mature women. Financial problems are the most common reasons for relationship conflicts and divorces. Rich and powerful people are considered more attractive by society. Tactics to Increase Attractiveness Using Wealth Become rich and powerful through inheritance, education, business, investments, or crime. Spend money to improve physical appearance and wardrobe. Buy a nice house, drive an expensive car, and wear expensive clothing and jewelry. Buy expensive gifts if love interest likes material things. < Back Top Next > SPREAD THIS INFORMATION   If you want to help solve dating, please spread the word by clicking below: Be a supporter by joining our mailing list. Send friends a link to this web site so they can download it. Download, print, copy, and give it to friends and family. Download, print, copy, and post the flyer to support the campaign. 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