Soulmate Manifesto: Breakup Cost

The Soulmate Manifesto:
Uniting All Soulmate Believers in an Effort to Solve Dating

This is the cost of breaking up. There are many costs you may have to pay. Breakup cost is the main reason why people become stuck in dysfunction or mediocre relationships. Mathematically, breakup cost is written as:

breakup cost	=	breakup emotional cost + breakup financial cost + total benefit from current love + unrealized invested cost from current love + replacement cost for another love + previous friendship loss*
replacement cost for another love	=	search cost for another love + rejection cost for another love + research cost for another love

*Note: Only include for love that accidentally evolved from a previous friendship.

1. Breakup Emotional Cost
If you are the one being dumped, your emotional cost may be lowered self-esteem, depression, loneliness, and/or regret. If you are the one who initiated the breakup, you may feel guilty for inflicting so much pain on your former lover or wasting his/her time. Both you and your former lover may suffer love withdrawal symptoms, such as anxiety, insomnia, and loneliness after the breakup.

Insights and Predictions

The person who initiates the breakup will have less breakup emotional cost than the person who is being dumped.
People who neglect their friends while in a relationship will have a harder time breaking up.

Tactics to Decrease Breakup Emotional Cost of Lover

Make them breakup with you. Set free all your neuroses.
Blame the reasons of breaking up on yourself.
Encourage lover to keep and maintain strong emotional support network while he/she is with you. Keep his/her friends.
Promise to remain friends after breaking up.

Tactics to Decrease Your Breakup Emotional Cost

Initiate a preemptive breakup. Dump lover before he/she dumps you.
Be spiteful and scornful. Blame everything on former lover and convince yourself that former lover was evil or a loser.
Go see a psychiatrist and ask to be placed on an antidepressant and sleeping meds.
Seek emotional support from your friends and family.
Move on and begin searching for another lover.

2. Breakup Financial Cost
If your relationship was serious, additional financial cost may emerge. If you are married and getting a divorce, your former spouse may be entitled to half of your net worth. Also, you both may have to hire divorce lawyers. You may have to pay alimony if you have children. If you moved in with your lover, you may have to find another place to live. If you are engaged, your fiancé may decide to keep the engagement ring.

Insights and Predictions

Reason why cohabitation and marriage will increase commitment.
Reason rich people have prenuptial agreements.
People usually stay in unhappy marriages for the sake of their children and themselves.
Women can use pregnancy to trap male lovers into commitment.

Tactics to Decrease Your Breakup Financial Cost

Make lover move in with you.
Do not get engaged or married.
Do not have children together.
Make lover sign a prenuptial agreement.
Do not make lover a business partner or let him/her share your bank account.
Liquidate your assets. Move all your money to a Swiss bank account before breaking up.
Kill spouse or lover. Do not get caught.

3. Total Benefit of Current Love
When love ends, all benefits of that love are lost.

4. Unrealized Invested Cost of Current Love: Emotional, Time, and Financial Cost
As a relationship's duration increases, the total cost of love increases. After breaking up, the expected returns from invested cost of finding, researching, and maintaining your doomed relationship will not be fully realized. As people invest more time, money, and emotions into a relationship, people become more committed to the relationship. It is hard for people to admit to themselves that they have made the wrong choice and have wasted their time, money, and emotions on the wrong person.

Insights and Predictions

Reason why fraternities and sororities haze their new members.
Reason why people play hard to get.

Tactics to Increase Unrealized Invested Cost for Both

Extend the relationship as long as possible in order to trap lover in the relationship.
Convince lover to give you one more chance. This time, you will change.

Tactics to Decrease Unrealized Invested Cost for Both

Have deadlines and milestones in relationships. If milestones are not reached, end the relationship. Otherwise, you will be stuck in that relationship. Do not have relationships that last for years if you are not soulmates.
Cut your losses. Accept the fact that finding a soulmate is trial and error.

5. Search Cost for Another Love
What is your search cost of finding someone comparable or better than your existing lover? If the relationship ends, could you find another love? What will the market for you look like?

Insights and Predictions

Reason why people make an issue about their lovers having close friends of the opposite sex.
A fight will occur if your lover catches you looking at an attractive person of the opposite sex.

Tactics to Increase Lover's Search Cost for Another Love

Work hard to increase lover's net benefit. Happy customers remain loyal. The better you are, the harder for your lover to find someone better.

Tactics to Lower Your Search Cost for Another Love

Continue to expand and maintain your social network while in a relationship.
Use a traditional or online dating service.
Always keep qualified potential soulmates as friends. Keep them on the back burner.
Cheat on lover. Do not get caught.

6.  Rejection Cost for Another Love
What is the rejection cost for another love? How will you feel if you are rejected by another love?

7.  Research Cost for Another Love
What is the research cost for another lover? How much more time, money, and energy will be spent to verify that your next lover will be the right one.

8.  Previous Friendship Loss
This cost refers to love that had arisen unexpectedly from a friendship. This cost was invested before the relationship started so this cost differs from the cost that was spent while in love. Usually the best loves are those that started off as friendships. However, the question, whether falling in love would change or end the friendship if the relationship ends, always becomes a big issue.

Tactics to Minimize Previous Friendship Loss

Have preset guidelines before crossing the line.
Claim temporary insanity. Blame it on alcohol or other situational forces for crossing the line.

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